Spilling the beans... or coffee

So, I've officially started a memoir, and it's going well so far. What I'm afraid of, and which I'm sure is common in those writing memoirs or autobiographies, is how my family and loved ones will react. Which boils down to who reads what (I doubt my father will read it) and how they are portrayed (*ahem* my mother). I want to be fair, but I want to tell my story as well.

It's bound to be painful - I'm in early days with it, so I have no idea how it will turn out or if I'll even want to publish it, but I'm ready to face it now, to write it now. I'm easing into it feet first, testing the waters, feeling my way through my own memories and my take on my life so far - mainly my addictions. It's not going to be another "Woe is me, I had a terrible childhood and that's why I drank" sort of memoirs, either, because up until a few years ago I honestly thought that, give or take some years in high school, my childhood was pretty good. I wanted for nothing, my dad was a private pilot so we did things like fly to Gatlinburg for supper, and my mother was doting and involved. Then, I began to have flashbacks of some pretty gruesome memories I had suppressed, and that's when my life took such a sharp turn, slipping into a muddy, sticky mess I couldn't get out of until I wound up in rehab. There's a saying: I never let anything go that didn't have claw marks all over it - you see this saying a lot in recovery, on posters with a feral cat, usually. And it's true for me, as with so many other addicts. But it's time to let go of my story because I don't want it to define me.

I believe in fresh starts, hope in the new, and that people can change. I have to believe that, and if you try to wrench that from me, as many people have, get out the Neosporin 'cause you'll have some unsightly scratches.

So, have you written a memoir? Do you have plans to? What fears are keeping you from it? What would the theme of your life be? Tell me in the comments below.

XO